When we first started looking into IVF, we never imagined we’d be flying to Cyprus for treatment—but that’s exactly what we did. And honestly? It was the best decision we could have made.
As a plus-size, LGBT family made up of two lesbian mums, we were hoping to grow our family through Reciprocal IVF. But we quickly realised the odds were stacked against us in the UK. From frustrating BMI restrictions to complex policies, the UK system just didn’t feel set up for us. That’s when we started looking into IVF abroad, and it changed everything!
Plus-Size Restrictions in the UK Made It Nearly Impossible!
In the UK, many IVF clinics have strict BMI cut-offs, often refusing IVF treatment to anyone with a BMI over 40. For our Reciprocal IVF journey, this was a huge barrier, as Natasha wouldn’t have been allowed to undergo egg retrieval. It felt disheartening to be judged on our bodies rather than our readiness for motherhood.
When we explored IVF with a BMI over 40 abroad, we found a clinic that welcomed us without judgment and supported us with compassion!
Fresh Embryo Transfers? Not Always Allowed in the UK
Here’s something most people don’t know; when two mums undergo Reciprocal IVF in the UK, even if they’re married, the egg provider is legally treated as a donor! That means the eggs must be frozen, quarantined, and tested, making a fresh transfer impossible. This adds time, stress, and cost.
IVF treatment abroad allowed us to bypass this rule, giving us the opportunity to do a fresh embryo transfer as part of our Reciprocal IVF process.
Higher Success Rates with Multiple Embryo Transfers
Another major reason we went abroad? Success rates. Our overseas doctor explained that transferring two embryos could boost our success rate up to 85%, with only a 10% increase in the likelihood of twins. This option isn’t often allowed in the UK, especially for patients with a higher BMI.
Being able to transfer more than one embryo gave us hope – and ultimately led to our beautiful baby boy.
Less Red Tape, More Respect
All of those barriers made us feel like we were constantly being questioned, not just because of BMI but also because of how our relationship was categorised. Even as a married couple, we weren’t offered the same treatment options as heterosexual partners. Abroad, it felt different. We were simply treated as two mums trying to have a baby, with no judgment and no unnecessary restrictions, just genuine support and understanding.
We Took Control of Our Journey
Choosing IVF abroad gave us back control. We could plan our cycle, choose our donor, and make decisions based on what felt right for us, not based on restrictions. We were able to compare Reciprocal IVF prices, choose a clinic that felt like the right fit, and move at our own pace.
The cost of IVF abroad is also often more affordable than you’d expect, especially when you factor in the value of personalised care and fewer delays!
More Support and Access to Our Doctor
We can’t overstate this: having direct access to a doctor or coordinator throughout our treatment was life-changing. Unlike the NHS or many UK clinics, our IVF abroad clinic offered near 24/7 support. Whether we had questions about medication, timing, or symptoms, help was just a message away.
Final Thoughts
Reciprocal IVF can be a beautiful way for two mums to grow their family, but it comes with challenges, especially in the UK. Between BMI-related limitations, legal hurdles, and complex protocols, the journey can feel impossible.
That’s why we chose IVF abroad. For us, it offered a more inclusive experience, fewer restrictions, and more options. The Reciprocal IVF cost was manageable, and we were treated with respect every step of the way. If you’re wondering ‘What is Reciprocal IVF?’ or whether the cost of IVF abroad is worth it, our answer is yes.
As a proud LGBT family, we’re so grateful we followed our instincts and chose the path that gave us the best chance at becoming parents. If you’re facing obstacles at home, know that there are supportive and compassionate clinics around the world who want to help you succeed!